Boys Dance Too. And They Always Have.

This might be a touchy subject for some people, but I'm going to share my experience and perspective because I think it is worth talking about.

Somewhere along the way, dance became labelled as a "feminine" activity. I have never really understood that.

If you look at human history, it doesn't make much sense. Dancing has been part of human culture for thousands of years, and in cultures all over the world, men and women have danced. It has been used for celebration, storytelling, ritual, courtship, competition, warfare, community and simply having a good time.

Men have always danced.

Look at Afrikaans culture and Sokkie. Men and women dance together. Look at Lebanese dance, Irish dance, African dance, Māori traditions, Turkish dance, Scottish dance and countless others. You don't have to look very far to find cultures where men dancing is completely normal.

So where did this idea that dancing is somehow "for girls" come from?

I'm not entirely sure.

But I do know that it is a fairly modern stigma, and frankly, I think it's a strange one.

Dance doesn't determine your sexuality

I grew up in Cape Town, where I was surrounded by people from all walks of life, including a large gay community. I learnt something quite early in life: somebody else being comfortable with who they are doesn't require me to change who I am.

I knew who I was.

I also understood that other people had the right to be who they were.

Dance doesn't determine my sexuality.

I'm a man. I'm heterosexual. And I'm in dance.

Those things aren't contradictory.

My connection to dance has nothing to do with who I'm attracted to. I dance because I enjoy the physicality. I enjoy the music. I enjoy the challenge. I enjoy the emotional side of it. I enjoy watching people develop and discovering what they are capable of.

Most importantly, I enjoy the freedom of expression that dance gives people.

That's human.

Not female.

And let's be honest about the ratio

There is another amusing part of this whole thing.

When I was growing up, the fact that there were generally far more girls than boys in dance wasn't exactly something I regarded as a disadvantage.

Quite the opposite.

If there were two, three, five or even ten times as many girls as boys in a dance environment, I'm not sure why a young man would be rushing to complain about his circumstances.

The odds were rather in his favour.

But jokes aside, that's actually part of the problem.

If boys are discouraged from dancing because they are worried about what other people might think, they are missing out on something that can develop them physically, mentally, emotionally and socially.

And society loses something too.

Because boys should be allowed to move.

They should be allowed to perform.

They should be allowed to express emotion.

They should be allowed to create.

They should be allowed to discover what their bodies can do.

Your sport doesn't define your masculinity

I think we need to grow up a little bit.

There are gay rugby players. There are gay footballers. There are gay cricketers. There are gay netball players. There are heterosexual dancers.

Human beings are more complicated than the stereotypes we sometimes put them into. And perhaps one of the reasons dance can feel more accepting of individual expression is because we are already asking people to express themselves physically and emotionally. But that doesn't mean that dance belongs to one particular sexual orientation.

It belongs to people.

That's the distinction.

You can be masculine and dance.

You can be feminine and dance.

You can be gay and dance.

You can be straight and dance.

You can be completely unsure about who you are and dance.

You can simply dance because you like dancing.

None of those things need to be explained.

And if a young boy wants to start dancing but is worried that his friends will make fun of him, I'd tell him something very simple:

Don't let somebody else's insecurity determine what you do with your life.

Because here's the irony.

The world keeps telling young men to be confident, disciplined, physically capable, expressive, resilient and comfortable in their own skin.

Then sometimes we discourage them from doing an activity that develops precisely those things.

That makes no sense.

So yes, more boys should dance.

Not because we need to prove that boys can dance.

They already can.

They always have.

They should dance because they enjoy it. Because it challenges them. Because it develops them. Because they want to express themselves. Because they want to compete. Because they want to create something.

Or simply because they bloody well want to.

Do your sport. Make your art. Dance your dance. Express yourself.

And do it unapologetically.

Your interests don't define your sexuality. Your courage to be yourself does.